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crabby_lioness in torchwood_us

Is There a Double Standard in Torchwood Fandom?

 It seems to me that certain members of fandom are holding Gwen/Rhys to a different standard than Jack/Ianto.

Comments

You're comparing apples and oranges. Gwen and Rhys are in a committed, serious relationship. They're in love. Jack and Ianto have never claimed to be anything more than just an occasional fling. Maybe they'll grow into something more like what Gwen and Rhys have, but right now I get the vibe that it's just a physical relationship.
Relationship maintenance is the same no matter what.

And we don't know that Jack and Ianto consider their relationship just physical. All we know is that they're only willing to talk about the physical side to other people. Obviously if Ianto considered it only physical he would have allowed Jack back in his bed sooner than TtLM.
Since we as viewers don't know the full extent of their relationship, isn't it unfair to berate fans for "holding them to a different standard" than Gwen and Rhys?
No. Relationship maintenance is the same no matter what. It doesn't even matter if it's "just" a sexual relationship or a romantic relationship. It doesn't matter if it's a friends relationship or a familial relationship. All relationship flourish with the same maintenance and fail with the same lack of maintenance.
I totally disagree. If you think relationships with friends require the same amount of maintenance as a committed, exclusive (romantic) relationship, then you've either never been in a serious relationship... or you were, but it failed. Try being married for a few years and then see if you still feel the same way. ;)

Edited at 2008-04-11 12:37 am (UTC)
I've been married 20 years, thank you. And while the amount of time may differ, the basic fact that all relationships require time to flourish does not. The fact that my friends get a weekly phone call and my husband and children get the lion's share of my time doesn't invalidate the principal.
I'm confused. How is a weekly phone call "the same maintenance" as giving hubby and kids "the lion's share"?
It's the principal of having someone on your to-do list as opposed to not having them on your to-do list.
And you don't think the nature of your relationship determines how high up you are on the other person's to-do list?
I think coming right next to "saving the world" is pretty damn high up on anybody's to-do list.
Now you've lost me completely.
You did read the post you are commenting on?
Yes. But when you're deliberately vague, other people can't follow what you're saying. I don't know if you were trying to say Ianto is high on Jack's to-do list, or Rhys is high on Gwen's to-do list, or your casual friends that you call once a week are high on your to-do list because you thought you were saving the world.

Edited at 2008-04-11 04:32 am (UTC)
It was a legitmate question after you wanted to know if I'd ever been in a long-term relationship.
What was a legitimate question? You didn't ask a question. You said: "I think coming right next to 'saving the world' is pretty damn high up on anybody's to-do list." Which came from way out in left field. Who came right next to saving the world on whose to-do list? Stop being vague and say what you mean.

And FYI, I never asked if you were in a long-term relationship. Have you been reading the posts?

Edited at 2008-04-11 04:49 am (UTC)
What was a legitimate question? You didn't ask a question. You said: "I think coming right next to 'saving the world' is pretty damn high up on anybody's to-do list." Which came from way out in left field. Who came right next to saving the world on whose to-do list? Stop being vague and say what you mean.

My point exactly. If you read my post, way up at the top, you would no doubt recall this bit,

That Jack is willing to put Ianto on his to-do list right next to saving the world in order of importance says to me that he values their relationship a great deal.

And FYI, I never asked if you were in a long-term relationship. Have you been reading the posts?

Okay, so who posted this bit under your name?

If you think relationships with friends require the same amount of maintenance as a committed, exclusive (romantic) relationship, then you've either never been in a serious relationship... or you were, but it failed. Try being married for a few years and then see if you still feel the same way. ;)

Because it THAT person had bothered to read my post way up at the top, they should remember this bit as well:

I've made the same sort of joke about my own dear husband of 20 years

So under those circumstances it did seem like a legitimate question.
I was making a statement, not asking a question. I'm sorry if I gave you the mistaken impression that I cared in the slightest bit what your relationship status was.

Edited at 2008-04-11 04:19 pm (UTC)
I don't expect you to care about my relationships. It is, however, polite to read what you are commenting on.
Torchwood

July 2009

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